Wellbeing

by Leiza Clark

Every instant of your existence emerges from the choices you make. Your choices about everything from breakfast food to major life decisions about love, career and forgiveness create the reality you experience. People fail to recognise this ability, and their choice enables them to determine their personal destiny.

Choice functions as the fundamental force that creates reality.

Your existence follows a purposeful sequence because you have made numerous decisions throughout your life. Your conscious decision-making enables you to transition from being a helpless spectator to becoming the master creator of your personal narrative. The brain functions as a dynamic system because neuroscience demonstrates that neuroplasticity enables us to transform established neural pathways. Your brain develops new neural pathways through purposeful decision making that leads to better emotional responses and healthier thinking patterns or behavioural habits.

The Time Between When Something Happens and Your Reaction Occurs

The space between external events and your reactions to them holds the key to your decision-making power. Your ability to make choices exists within this particular interval. Most people react automatically by repeating familiar emotional patterns without conscious thought. Your ability to pause and bring awareness to the space between stimulus and response allows you to take back control of your actions. The brief moment of pause allows you to select love instead of fear and to choose forgiveness instead of holding resentment, then to choose courage instead of doubt.

The Energy of Intention

The process of choosing involves more than mental activity because it also involves energetic forces. Your decisions based on clear intentions create outward effects that can transform both your inner state and attract new life experiences into your path. Your alignment with clear purpose and compassionate intentions makes you draw in experiences that match these qualities. Every decision you make functions as a seed that you plant into the realm of potential outcomes, and the quality of that seed will produce your future results.

Practical Ways to Harness the Power of Choice

Daily awareness practice helps you evaluate your decisions by asking which source drives your choices between fear or habit or possibility. Your choices become more powerful when you base them on awareness, regardless of their size.

Start your day by defining your inner direction through specific intentions that state your daily choices. Today, I choose patience. Today, I choose presence. Your subconscious mind will learn to follow your values through this basic practice of setting intentions.

The Pause technique helps you react less impulsively because it requires you to breathe slowly for three counts before taking action. The practice of breathing slowly creates an opportunity for wisdom to enter your decision-making process.

Take full responsibility for your life because your present situation results from all your previous decisions. The practice of taking responsibility leads to empowerment rather than self-blame. Your current situation resulted from previous choices, so you can use new decisions to create different outcomes.

Select joy in everyday moments because happiness emerges from your ability to discover positive aspects in the current moment.

Stepping Into Your Power

The ability to make choices grants you complete independence. Your life exists outside the boundaries of established routines and outside the influence of outside expectations. Every decision you make functions as a statement about your developing identity. Your conscious choices enable you to connect with your higher self, it possesses knowledge about peace and creativity and endless potential.

The essential daily inquiry you should make to yourself is about your present-day choices. Every action and word and thought during our lifetime creates consequences which we must accept according to Elizabeth Kubler Ross.

By Leiza Clark

Louise L. Hay teaches us to approve ourselves because years of self-criticism have proven ineffective. The outcome will be interesting when you start approving yourself.

Every person has an inner critic or ‘monkey mind’ that constantly speaks to us with negative words. The inner critic tells us we lack readiness, intelligence or talent. The inner critic seems to repeat itself continuously as we attempt to take on fresh challenges.

The inner critic emerges when we attempt to express ourselves or start new initiatives, or become more open with others. The first impression suggests that this inner critic functions as a destructive force. But the inner critic is more than a destructive force, because it serves as a protective mechanism of the brain. The brain uses this mechanism to protect us, it does so through unskilled methods. The scientific basis of this phenomenon enables us to view it differently while acquiring methods to silence it.

The Brain Behind the Critic

The Amygdala: The Alarm System
The brain contains an internal smoke alarm system that functions as the amygdala. The amygdala functioned as a protective mechanism for our ancient ancestors to avoid predators during their time. The brain’s alarm system activates whenever we perceive any form of potential danger, including rejection, failure and embarrassment. The inner critic creates a sense of urgency because the amygdala activates its warning system to defend our comfort zone even though the actual threat does not exist.

The Prefrontal Cortex: The Rational Guide
The prefrontal cortex functions as the brain’s intelligent decision making center. The prefrontal cortex enables our brain to reason, plan and maintain a critical perspective. The prefrontal cortex can silence false alarms from the amygdala when we take time to reflect on our thoughts. The brain enables us to think clearly instead of panicking when we respond to situations.

Neuroplasticity: The Power of Rewiring
Our brains exist in a state of constant change because they lack fixed structures. Our brain pathways become more powerful with each instance we believe what the critic says. Neuroplasticity enables us to develop fresh neural connections. The brain undergoes physical changes when we select compassionate thoughts and grounding techniques and empowering statements that can tame our inner critic, so it’s less destructive and our supportive inner voice becomes louder.

Here are some Strategies to Transform the Critic

1. Recognize and Label the Voice
   When your inner critic starts speaking, you should stop immediately to identify its voice. Research demonstrates that identifying our thoughts leads to a decrease in their emotional power. When you hear the voice of failure in your mind, replace it with the knowledge that it belongs to your critic. The small change in wording creates distance that reduces the impact of the emotional pain.
2. Reframe Its Message
   The critic depends on making things seem bigger than they actually are. The process of reframing allows us to identify the truth behind its statements. Ask yourself:
   • The fear I experience stems from actual facts, or does it stem from my imagination?
   • What is the most severe potential outcome, and do I possess the ability to manage it?
   • These questions help your logical thinking process, to minimize the scale of fear into a more acceptable reality.
3. Ground Through the Body
   The human body functions as a natural controller of brain activities. The practice of slow breathing combined with stretching and mindful walking helps to reduce stress signals in the body. The simple breathing technique of Box Breathing that involves four seconds of inhalation followed by four seconds of holding breath and four seconds of exhalation, then four seconds of holding breath helps to reduce anxiety while improving concentration.
4. Install a New Narrative
   Each time you replace negative self-talk with positive affirmations your brain learns new patterns. You should attempt to transform these statements into more positive ones.
   • “I can’t do this” → “I’m learning how to do this.”
   • “I’ll fail” → “I’m practicing, and progress counts as success.”
   • The process of repetition will make your confidence grow stronger while your inner critic becomes less powerful.
5. Practice Self-Compassion
   The brain responds to self-criticism by producing stress, but it responds to self-compassion by activating safety and resilience pathways. The practice of treating yourself with kindness follows the principles of neuroscience. Your nervous system receives regulation through this practice that builds your strength for upcoming challenges.

Practical Tips for Everyday Life

Name your critic– You should assign a specific name to your inner critic, such as ‘The Doubter’ or ‘The Judge’. The act of naming something reduces its ability to control you.

Journaling dialogue– Record the critical statements you hear from your inner voice before responding with logical and peaceful counterarguments.

Set micro-goals- The brain develops safety perception for action through the release of dopamine that occurs when achieving small victories.

Develop specific rituals– These help you stay present in the moment. Use a short breathing exercise for two minutes before a meeting or taking on important work projects. This can help you manage any potential fear that may arise.

Celebrate your achievements– no matter how small they seem. The process of acknowledging small accomplishments helps your brain develop confidence through positive neural pathways.

Final Thoughts

Your inner critic will continue to persist, but you can learn to control its influence on your decisions. Your brain signals the development of new skills through the warning sounds of your inner voice when you push past your comfort boundaries.

Your brain functions as a tool to transform your mental story when you understand how the amygdala triggers alarms and the prefrontal cortex provides clarity, and neuroplasticity enables change. Your brain transforms through each decision that chooses awareness instead of reactivity, kindness instead of criticism, and courage instead of fear.

The inner critic then evolves from a destructive or controlling hindrance into a discerning and directional tool, guiding you to a path of development and advancement.

“When I release my current self, I reveal my potential future self.” ― Lao Tzu

By Leiza Clark

How to get unstuck and start moving forward, from standstill to flow. “Nothing will work unless you do.” Maya Angelou

Every person at some point in their life experiences the uncomfortable feeling of being blocked or stuck, giving them the experience of time standing still while they yearn for change.

Your mind continues to repeat the same doubts, while you review your decisions multiple times and yet you remain unable to progress. The feeling of being stuck can appear in multiple areas of life including work, personal connections, creative pursuits and your self-improvement journey. The key point to understand is that being stuck serves as a directional indicator.

The feeling of being stuck will reveal your path to success if you pay close attention to it.

1. Recognise the Signal, Not the Struggle

The feeling of being stuck or blocked in life does not stem from being idle or lacking drive. It’s your inner guidance system appearing as a warning to examine your situation more deeply. Your current belief patterns no longer match your needs, and fear might have taken control of your actions.

The goal is to stop fighting against the uncomfortable stuck feeling, because if you explore a little more, it will reveal the ideal future path. Being stuck is a sign from your body that signals you need to pivot or change, although you may not have determined which path to take.

2. Focus on taking small actions instead of worrying about the entire picture.

The desire for change can become overwhelming when the transformation seems too massive. So my suggestion is to place your attention on just the first step of your journey, because if you place your attention on the entire staircase, it can appear overwhelming in the moment.

• If you want to write a book, begin by starting with writing one page of content.
• Starting your career transition requires you to update your resume first before you can think about the complete shift.

The smallest amount of progress will start to build momentum.

3. Change Your Attitude Toward Your Fears

Fear disguises itself through procrastination, excessive thinking and perfectionism to hide its presence.

To move through fear, transform your perception of it instead of attempting to eliminate it. The area where growth resides is in new thought patterns, which fear indicates you are approaching.

• Do you avoid taking action because you lack readiness, or because you stand at the threshold of growth?
• A simple mental adjustment will free you from fear so you can progress.

4. Refresh Your Environment

A new outlook becomes more important than focusing on major changes, when you need to break through your current situation. You should try rearranging your workspace or take a walk in nature or visit a different café. The physical areas we inhabit directly affect our mental processes and emotional states. A minimal change in your environment can activate your creative thinking, while revealing hidden possibilities that were previously invisible.

5. Call in Connection

The state of being alone can create an environment that supports being stuck. Reach out and contact a trusted friend, mentor or coach who knows your situation and will help you gain a different perspective or understanding and provide solutions.

Another person’s viewpoint enables you to discover hidden weaknesses and remember your existing abilities. The process of discussing your situation will reduce your burden, while revealing new possibilities that you may have never discovered independently.

6. Lock Into Your Future Self

When the present moment becomes overwhelming visualise your future self, after you have overcome this challenge.

• What actions would this person take during their day?
• What important lessons would this person share with you?
• Your future self provides clarity while demonstrating that being stuck is only a temporary state. Your alignment with your future self will make it simpler to take action toward your personal growth.

Eckhart Tolle states that taking any action is superior to remaining inactive when you have spent many years in an unhappy situation. Learning from your mistakes makes them no longer mistakes because you acquire valuable knowledge. Your lack of movement will prevent you from gaining

by Leiza Clark

The Power of Connection: Why We Can’t Thrive Without It

The current high-speed digital environment makes people believe that independence and self-reliance, along with accomplishment, lead to happiness. Every achievement and healing moment and joyful experience depends on a fundamental element that people frequently disregard is connection.

The value of connection extends beyond its positive emotional impact because it represents an essential requirement for human existence. The presence of connection quietly influences our existence while affecting our physical state and emotional state and spiritual well-being.

Science has discovered that the human body requires connection to thrive because belonging affects our physical body. Our physical state depends on connection to others, because it directly impacts our health outcomes.

Hormonal balance – The body releases oxytocin through social interactions such as laughing with friends, hugging loved ones or sharing smiles, which creates a calming effect on stress while strengthening our immune system and improving our overall health.

Heart health – People who maintain strong relationships experience better heart health and lower blood pressure that leads to longer life expectancy. Science has said that the absence of social connections produces effects that match the harm caused by heavily smoking.

Pain relief – Physical and emotional pain decreases when we receive support from someone we trust.

Our biological systems transform through connection, it enables better sleep and stress management and faster recovery times. Our health deteriorates when we lack connection with others.

The human mind requires connection to achieve its full potential just like the human body does.

Our minds, together with our bodies, require connection to achieve optimal development. Deep involvement with others enables us to transcend our personal boundaries.

Fresh perspectives – People who view life differently through conversation offer us new ways of thinking while fostering creative ideas.

Resilience – When we share our difficulties with others it becomes easier to handle them. The support of others enables us to recover from challenges with increased power.

Self-discovery – Through our relationships we gain insight into our own character by seeing our positive qualities, core beliefs and untapped abilities.

Our most significant achievements emerge through the process of discussing ideas with others while working together and reflecting on our experiences.

True connections with others show us that our individual existence does not exist in isolation. The feeling of belonging emerges through brief exchanges with others including their smiles, meaningful discussions, along with shared quiet moments of mutual understanding. These encounters communicate to us that we belong to a community, and we are visible to others and we are never truly separate.

The nourishment of our soul emerges from these connections and experiences. Through these connections, we find our place within a bigger framework that extends beyond our individual existence.

Cultivating Connection in a Disconnected World

 The practice of connection exists in our everyday decisions, throughout our daily lives, rather than requiring elaborate actions.

Be present – Devote your complete attention to the person in front of you while discarding all distractions. Your presence communicates a value that surpasses spoken words because you consider them important.

Listen to understand – The practice of deep listening without thinking about your response creates trust and deepens relationships between people.

Create rituals- Regular family meals and regular walks and daily coffee sessions with friends establish routines that generate feelings of belonging and stability.

Be open- When you reveal your authentic self, including your apprehensions, aspirations and ambitions, you create space for others to reveal their authentic selves.

Value depth – Meaningful relationships with a few people bring more value than numerous superficial relationships.

The practice of choosing meaningful connections over superficial digital interactions requires bravery in our current digital society.

Connection as Our Greatest Strength

The joy of celebrations becomes more intense when we experience them with others. When we support each other through difficult times, our collective burdens become easier to bear. People heal faster when they experience the support of others who hold them.

Life attains its purpose through connection, it serves as the fundamental element that gives existence its value. Through our genuine presence, we give others the most valuable gift, our attention, it shows them they are not isolated from the world. The true value of life emerges from the relationships we build with others rather than our accomplishments or material possessions.

By Leiza Clark

The term forgiveness often becomes difficult to understand because of various misconceptions about its meaning. People commonly mistake forgiveness for condoning bad behaviour, or accepting unfair treatment. They believe that if we forgive, we are ‘letting people off the hook’ or releasing offenders from their responsibility, or simply denying our past pains and injustices.

True forgiveness exists independently from the actions of others. It’s only about you, the process of forgiveness enables you to recover the part of your identity that has remained confined to the past injustice.

Carrying resentment creates a burden that resembles a heavy backpack loaded with rocks. Each unresolved hurt and betrayal and unaddressed grievance adds weight to the backpack your carrying around. People who have carried their burden of injustices for extended periods, experience the weight as their new normal. The process of forgiveness enables you to release that heavy burden.

Why Forgive?

1. Our subconscious mind and autonomic nervous system (ANS), cannot distinguish between past and present experiences – when you recall painful memories. Your body experiences the pain ‘now’ in the present moment, whenever you think about past painful events. Your heart rate changes, your breath shortens, stress hormones surge. The act of remembering past injustices or memories through repetition causes you to subconsciously experience the same physical and psychological harm again and again.

The process of forgiveness cuts off this continuous cycle. Your nervous system a chance to recover from its previous state through the disruption of memory-physiology feedback loops.

• The practice of holding resentment leads to substantial energetic loss. Carrying anger or bitterness throughout your life requires significant mental and physical resources. The practice of holding resentment can diminish your ability to experience joy, creativity and can damage your ability to build trust in relationships. The energy it takes to hold onto past resentments and events takes its toll on your mental capacity, as you’re using up your valuable mental resources. The process of forgiveness creates new available headspace. Forgiveness operates as an energy-saving method rather than an energy leakage practice.

• The process of forgiveness operates independently from the need for reconciliation between parties. The act of forgiveness does not require any future contact with the person you forgive. Forgiveness enables you to establish protective boundaries, while maintaining forgiveness. Forgiveness requires no public declaration to others. Forgiveness operates as an individual inner decision, which does not require agreement, acceptance or feedback from any other.

• The practice of forgiveness enables you to take control of your life. The decision to forgive brings you into a state of personal control. You take control of your relationship with past experiences by making choices about how you want to interact with them. Through forgiveness you take back control of your life story by refusing to accept the role of victim. The experience of freedom surpasses the need to prove whose ‘right’ in the past situation. We maintain our sense of being ‘right’ through holding onto past injuries. But at what cost? The ability to stop identifying as a victim of wrong-doing becomes available to you when you forgive. When you choose forgiveness, you gain freedom instead of maintaining your need to be ‘right’ or to be ‘correct’.

The process of forgiveness allows people to release their burdens instead of providing excuses for others.

The process of forgiveness resembles the act of releasing a tightly clenched hand. Your grip has become so tight that your fingers have turned completely white. The initial sensation of release creates an unusual feeling which makes you feel like you have lost something. The blood starts to flow back and your energy returns as you discover your hand still exists for purposes beyond the simple grasping.

The process of forgiveness does not remove past events, but it frees you from their controlling influence. Through forgiveness you will regain your life energy-force and your sense of peace in the present moment and your future prospects.

Forgiveness stands as a powerful self-care practice which brings complete liberation to the human experience.

So, why forgive?

Not because they deserve it. Not because it erases the wound.

We forgive, because it’s your right to freedom, forgiveness exceeds your obligation to bear the burden of carrying this weight on your own.

By Leiza Clark

We spend so much of our lives chasing certainty. The secure job, the predictable routine, the well-mapped plan that tells us exactly what’s coming next. It feels safe, but safety often comes at a cost, it keeps us small.

What if the most defining chapters of your life are waiting in the places that feel unsteady, unpredictable, and unfinished?

Think back to the moments that shaped you. Was it when everything was comfortable and familiar? Or was it when you took a chance, said yes before you had the answers, or leaned into a decision that made your stomach flip?

The truth is, expansion never happens inside the comfort zone. Growth is born at the edge where you’re no longer standing on solid ground but haven’t yet landed on the next step. That’s the space where courage is tested, resilience is built, and creativity bursts to life.

Fear’s Disguise

Fear often dresses up as logic. It whispers: “Now isn’t the right time.” “You’re not ready yet.” “What if you fail?” But beneath those doubts is usually an opportunity waiting to reveal who you can become if you choose to trust yourself more than your fear.

Every breakthrough in human history came from someone who stepped forward without a guarantee. They didn’t know if it would work. They didn’t have all the answers. But they moved anyway.

Why the Edge Matters

The edge forces us into presence. You can’t rely on autopilot when you’re in uncharted territory, you become awake, alert, alive. You notice things you never did before. You tap into resourcefulness you didn’t know you had. And perhaps most importantly, you meet a version of yourself you’ve never met the one that shows up when the stakes are real.

A New Kind of Safety

Ironically, the edge often gives us the kind of safety we can’t find in routine the safety of knowing we can trust ourselves in any circumstance. It’s the unshakable confidence that comes from navigating uncertainty and realising you’re stronger, wiser, and more capable than you imagined.

Start Small, say yes!

You don’t need to overhaul your life overnight. Start small. Say yes to something you’d normally postpone. Strike up a conversation with someone who intimidates you. Launch that project even though it’s imperfect. Each bold move trains your nervous system to expand its threshold for possibility.

Life isn’t waiting for you in the well-lit, predictable places. It’s alive and pulsing at the edge, where comfort ends and discovery begins.

So the real question is: will you stay where it feels safe, or will you step into the place where life truly starts?